Saturday, November 17, 2012


First and foremost, let's get one thing straight: Chick-Fil-A is a cult. It sucks you in and takes over your life, that's just the way it is. It's a real world under-toe for the competitive-natured. They start you off small, but make promises that if you do well, you'll be moving up in no time. As a new hiree, you hear about the top-notch team members; the "cream of the crop." The elite. The feared. The ones who make more money than you do. They are the drive-thru team, and you can only reach their level of expertise with months of hard work and dedication. With that incentive in mind, if you at all value pride and competition you won't leave CFA for at least several months. Then, once you finally reach drive-thru, it doesn't end there. They continually place more goals and incentives in front of you, like a man dangling a steak in front of a dog on a treadmill. Sometimes all it even has to come down to is that if you're in drive-thru, you're as competitive as all get out and that's enough to keep you there just because--love your coworkers as you will--you still want to be better than all of them.

Chick-Fil-A even has its own cult-language. And if this was still the 18th century, stepping outside the bounds of that language would get you beheaded. I'm even going out on a limb with the title of this blog, seeing how CFA doesn't have "Employees." It has "Team Members." And we certainly don't have "customers," we have "guests." And heaven forbid you ever ask a guest if they want "anything else," no, you better be asking them "what else you can get for them" from the bottom of your servant's heart or else risk forever turning them away from your business due to feeling rushed rather than welcomed. But above all of these and more, no words at CFA could ever condemn you more than these two: "You're welcome." I heard about a kid who didn't say "My pleasure" one time... and then I never heard about him again.

Like any good cult, we also have our own form of initiation. When I was new, once I got fooled into trying to mop the freezer, I knew I was in. Then once you graduate to an established team member, you can start initiating the noobs. Lately, initiations have included things like FIFOing the ice bin, searching for the "squeejee sharpener," taking inventory of each individual sauce, or--my personal favorite--FIFOing the AIR in the walk-in refrigerator. Anything that leaves one person humiliated and the other person with a sense of victory counts as initiation... at least I think that's how it works.

Overall, Chick-Fil-A will change your life. For better or for worse, I'm not sure, but it will own your life and change it forever, that much you can count on. The way I know they have got me wrapped around their finger is because I could complain about the place forever, but at the end of the day I still love my job... whether I've been brainwashed to love it or not.


  1. My favorite initiation was the drain the hot water (for tea and hot chocolate) at the end of the night trick. We got someone to pour out like 10 gallons of hot water before someone felt bad enough to tell them that it was a continuous water heaterand that you can't drain it.

  2. or having someone find the "red flag".....

  3. "I need you to circulate the air in the freezer with a trash bag. The fan isn't working"

  4. We made my coworker rotate ice for two hours

  5. Living in Tucson, AZ - When the weather hits the 100's business slows down, then we get a monsoon storm and the temps dip to the 80's. Everyone in a 15 mile radius seems to decide to go to Chick Fil A for a dinner out. Literally over a hundred people show up all at the same time and expect that our crew can process their orders as if we were dead, and then get ticked off that they have to wait for their food. Gotta love those days.... or not.

  6. These are the confessions of a lazy ass employee. Stop complaining about having to do your job. You're one of the problems with America. So, you work at Chick-Fil-A. That means you're either a young kid or too uneducated to get a decent-paying job. Even if you're an "owner" of a Chick-Fil-A, you don't really own it; you'd be more like a leasee who pays an assload of money to the corporation for using their property and equipment. It's not like you have rights to sell it as an "owner." Owner—LOL. Maybe some day when you put your big panties on and grow up, you'll value the customer-employee relationship that exists in the service industry. Your complaints are just part of the service industry. If you don't like it, get off your lazy ass and get motivated to get a college degree or learn a trade to start earning some real money. Good luck to you in all of your future endeavors. End of rant.

    1. AMEN! I totally concur with this comment and was thinking the same thing when reading this blog.